#juvenilefiction #hardcover #DangerIsStillEverywhere  #funny #pets 

Light Hardcover (1 lb or less)

New York

Beware of the Dog!

Dr. Noel Zone is BACK to make YOU into a qualified Level 2 Dangerologist in this wacky handbook about how to avoid danger of even more kinds--from dinosaurs to volcanoes to the circus--plus the overwhelming danger of a real live puppy! A little dog called Napkin has come to stay, but every POD (Pupil of Dangerology) knows the only safe pet is a pet rock. As Napkin wreaks havoc around the Dangerzone, Dr. Noel will have to work up the courage to keep teaching (and to leave the safety of his wardrobe)!

With art on every page, silly acronyms, and recurring characters, this hilarious follow-up to Danger Is Everywhere is perfect for readers of all ages who are looking for a laugh!


Danger Is Still Everywhere

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Hardcover (1 to 2 lbs)

California

"Chloe Winter chonicles a year in her high school life, sharing the highs and lows of family, friendship, school, and love"--

Confessions of a High School Disaster

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The stand-up comedian, television host, best-selling author and actress candidly discusses her personal life, her professional career and describes what it was like to become a judge on American Idol. 750,000 first printing.

Seriously... I'm Kidding

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Bill McClellan

Missouri

Through the Glass Darkly

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Chip Gaines

Maryland

Smart Things I've Learned by Doing Stupid Stuff

The most important step is taking the first one. Capital Gaines is the perfect book for anyone looking to succeed not only in business but more importantly in life.

Capital Gaines

63db5654-c83a-4817-bc1c-28d4a7f46c5d-1

Connecticut

The Complete Half-Wit and Wisdom of Alfred E. Neuman

78e8e7f1-1171-44c7-9534-fcc280b1e233-1

Rebecca Wells

A Novel

Looks back to the years of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood's origins in Thornton, Louisiana, during which Vivi, Teensy, Caro, and Necie endure crises of faith, lapses in parenting, brushes with alcoholism, and glimpses into racial bigotry.

Ya-Yas in Bloom

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Chelsea Handler

Tennessee

Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever. On safari in Africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live (Asia, duh) or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure. The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches. When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride. Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, hot travel trips, and travel etiquette, none of which should be believed, UGANDA BE KIDDING ME has Chelsea taking on the world, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time.

Uganda Be Kidding Me

038f0f26-d700-437e-9d63-5b8afd59a92c-1

Inman Majors

Michael Griffith

Texas

Game On!

Penelope Lemon is a recent divorcée, closet Metallica fan, and accidental subversive to all the expectations of suburban motherhood. After ending her marriage with James, a woodsy intellectual who favors silky kimonos too short for his knobby knees, Penelope finds herself, at forty, living with her randy mother in her childhood home. Broke and desperate for work, she waitresses at Coonskins, a frontier-themed restaurant where the decor is heavy on stuffed mammals and discarded peanut shells. Despite the pitfalls of balancing parental duties, jobs, and the vagaries of middle-age life, Penelope pushes through one obstacle after another, trying to regain her independence. Whether fumbling through the world of online dating; coping with a bullying situation involving her son, Theo, something of a gastric wonder on the school bus; or wrestling with the discovery of nude photos from her carefree college days that are not quite as “artistic” as she remembers, Penelope gradually emerges as a modern-day heroine who navigates the assorted inanities of life with verve and humor. Audacious and laugh-out-loud funny, Inman Majors’s new novel holds up a fun-house mirror to the relatable challenges of being a single parent in the digital age. All those who live by the beat of their own drum gain a coconspirator, an accomplice, and a champion in the unstoppable Penelope Lemon.

Penelope Lemon

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Lois Wyse

Chronicles the experiences of the modern-day grandmother, offering advice on how to help parenting children, when to butt in and out of their affairs, and tips on careers and family life

Funny, You Don't Look Like a Grandmother

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Jim Norton

New Jersey

WhenNew York Timesbestselling author and comedian Jim Norton isn't paying for massages with happy endings, or pretending to be fooled by transsexuals he picks up, he spends his time wondering what certain people would look like on fire...What do Heather Mills, the Reverend Al Sharpton, and Dr. Phil have in common? Jim Norton hates their guts. And he probably hates yours, too, especially if you're a New York Yankee, Starbucks employee, or Steve Martin.In thirty-five hilarious essays,New York Timesbestselling author and comedian Jim Norton spews bile on the people he loathes. Enjoy his blistering attacks on Derek Jeter, Hillary Clinton, fatso Al Roker, and mush-mouthed Jesse Jackson. It's utterly hilarious -- and utterly relatable if you've ever bitten a stranger's face or thrown a bottle through the TV screen while watching the news.But don't think Jim just dishes loads of shit on his self-proclaimed enemies; he is equally atrocious to himself. He savages himself for his humiliating days as a white homeboy, his balletlike spins in the outfield during a little league game, and his embarrassingly botched attempt at a celebrity shout-out while taping his new HBO stand-up series.Uncomfortably honest,I Hate Your Gutsis probably the best example of emotional vomiting you'll ever read. But there is hope; at the end of each essay, Jim generously offers helpful suggestions as to how the offender can make things right again: Eliot Spitzer: If you run for re-election, instead of shaking hands with voters, let them smell your fingers.Reverend Al Sharpton: The next time you feel the need to protest, do so dressed as an elk in Ted Nugent's backyard.Hillary Clinton: When you absolutely must make a point of laughing publicly, don't fake it. Just think of something that genuinely makes you laugh, like lowering taxes or any random male having his penis cut off.For the legions of devoted fans who know Jim Norton for his raw, sometimes brutal comedy,I Hate Your Gutsis what you've been waiting for. But even more important -- it's a great book to read while taking a shit.

I Hate Your Guts

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Justin Halpern

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, the 29-year-old author moves in with his 73-year-old dad, whose straightforward, expletive-laden advice and opinions became a hit on Twitter and are now offered in a hilarious collection. 50,000 first printing.

Sh*t My Dad Says

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The Daily Show With Trevor Noah

Jon Meacham

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER * As seen on The Daily Show: an illustrated portrait of the Donald J. Trump Twitter account, with analysis and "scholarly" commentary from the writers of The Daily Show and an introduction by Trevor Noah

In June 2017, just steps from Trump Tower in midtown Manhattan, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah opened The Donald J. Trump Presidential Twitter Library, a 4,000-square-foot museum space that gave the 45th president and his amazing Twitter legacy the respect they deserve. In the single weekend it was open to the public, the Library pop-up drew 7,500 visitors and had to turn away countless others.

But the Presidential Twitter Library experience should not be limited to the elite coastal few. Not fair! All citizens, even the Mexican ones, should have the chance to see Donald Trump's tweets in their rightful context--organized and commented on in the fearless, hilarious, insightful voice of The Daily Show.

This one-of-a-kind exhibition catalog presents the Library's complete contents, including:

* The Masterpieces: In-depth critical appreciations of history's most important Trump tweets, from "Very Stable Genius" to "Covfefe" to "Trump Tower Taco Bowl/I Love Hispanics!"
* The Greatest Battles: @realDonaldTrump's brutal Twitter campaigns against fellow Republicans, Diet Coke, women generally, and Kristen Stewart specifically
* Sad! A Retrospective: a compendium of the many people, events, and twists of fate that apparently made Donald Trump feel this human emotion
* Trumpstradamus: DJT's amazing 140-character predictions--none of which came true!
* The Hall of Nicknames: the greatest of Trump's monikers, from "Lyin' Ted" to "Low I.Q. Crazy Mika," accompanied by original caricature artwork
* Trump vs. Trump: You're going to want to sit for this one. Donald Trump has sometimes been known to contradict himself.
* Always the Best: the greatest boasts of the greatest boaster of all time, ever!

Comprising hundreds of Trump tweets, and featuring a foreword by Pulitzer Prize-winning historian Jon Meacham, and even a place for readers to add their own future Trump tweet highlights--because he is making new Twitter history literally every day--The Donald J. Trump Presidential Twitter Library is a unique portrait of an artist whose masterworks will be studied by historians, grammarians, and mental health professionals for years to come.

The Donald J. Trump Presidential Twitter Library

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Some sticker residue on back cover. Interior is still in perfect “like new” condition. #leslielandis #theartofovereating #funny #comedy #humor 

A Bellyful of Laughs about Our Food-Phobic Culture

Offers a humorous look at American eating habits and culture.

The Art of Overeating

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#hardcover #fiction #contemporary #comingofage #humor #fantasy #realisticfiction #magicalrealism 

North Carolina

"Parker hasn't spoken since he watched his father die five years ago. He communicates through writing on slips of paper and keeps track of his thoughts by journaling. A loner, Parker has little interest in school, his classmates, or his future. But everything changes when he meets Zelda, a mysterious young woman with an unusual request: 'treat me like a teenager'"--

Thanks for the Trouble

ef6bde58-b1ca-4a7b-b42f-ecf001b1fad6-1

Hardcover book in like new condition with the exception of a slight ripple across the top and bottom of the jacket cover from shelving

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

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Tom Friedman

Of Which We Could Remember Only 246

Anekdoter om glemsomhed og distræte kendte personer

1,000 Unforgettable Senior Moments

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Max Wirestone

Georgia

Veronica Mars meets the World of Warcraft in The Unfortunate Decisions of Dahlia Moss, a mystery romp with a most unexpected heroine.

If it were up to me this book would be called Hilarious Things That Happened That Were Not At All Dahlia's Fault -- or HTTHTWNAADF, for short.
OK, I probably shouldn't have taken money from a mysterious eccentric to solve a theft, given that I'm not a detective, and that I am sometimes outwitted by puzzles in children's video games. I probably shouldn't have stolen bags of trash from a potential murder suspect. Arguably -- just arguably, mind you -- it may have been unwise to cos-play at an event where I was likely to be shot at.

But sometimes you just have to take some chances, right? And maybe things do get a little unfortunate. What of it? If you ask me, an unfortunate decision here or there can change your life. In a positive way, just so long you don't killed in the process. Admittedly, that's the tricky bit.

The Unfortunate Decisions of Dahlia Moss

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Bradley Trevor Greive

Michigan

How to Lose Weight Without Losing Your Mind

With his trademark wit and humorous animal photographs, Grieve identifies the most common causes of weight gain as well as the perils of extreme dieting, suggesting that the #1 lesson is to "Keep your mouth shut."

Dieting Causes Brain Damage

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Alabama

The star of "Chelsea Lately" aims her sharp wit at her family, her sex life, her career and her distinctively outrageous worldview.

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

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Grace Welles is stuck at a third-tier boarding school in the swamps of Florida, where her method of survival is a strict, self-imposed loneliness. And it works. Her crap attitude keeps people away because without friends, there are fewer to lose.

But when she accidentally saves the new kid, Wade Scholfield, from being beaten up, everything about her precariously balanced loner world collapses and, in order to find her footing again, she has no choice but to discover a completely new way to exist.

Because with Wade around, school rules are optional, weird is okay, and conversations about wormholes can lead to make-out sessions that disrupt any logical stream of thought. Nothing’s perfect, but that’s not the point. When they're together everything seems uncomplicated in a way that Grace knows is not possible.

Except it is.

So why does Grace crush Wade’s heart into a million pieces?

Acidly funny and compulsive readable, this debut is a story about two people finding each other and then screwing it all up. See also: soulmate, stupidity, sex, friendship, bad poetry, very bad decisions and all the indignities of being in love for the first time.

Slingshot

James Patterson

Lisa Papademetriou

Virginia

Georgia Khatchadorian plans to excel at Hills Village Middle School, in all the places her troublemaking brother failed.

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David O'Doherty; Chris Judge (Illustrator)

Danger Is Still Everywhere

Emma Chastain

Confessions of a High School Disaster

Ellen DeGeneres

Seriously... I'm Kidding

Bill McClellan

Through the Glass Darkly

Chip Gaines

Capital Gaines

Sergio Aragones

Mad

Rebecca Wells

Ya-Yas in Bloom

Chelsea Handler

Uganda Be Kidding Me

Inman Majors; Michael Griffith

Penelope Lemon

Lois Wyse

Funny, You Don't Look Like a Grandmother

Jim Norton

I Hate Your Guts

Justin Halpern

Sh*t My Dad Says

The Daily Show With Trevor Noah; Jon Meacham

The Donald J. Trump Presidential Twitter Library

Leslie Landis

The Art of Overeating

Tommy Wallach

Thanks for the Trouble

Chelsea Handler (Introduction by); Chelsea's Family, Friends, and Other Victims

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

Tom Friedman

1,000 Unforgettable Senior Moments

Max Wirestone

The Unfortunate Decisions of Dahlia Moss

Bradley Trevor Greive

Dieting Causes Brain Damage

Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Mercedes Helnwein

Slingshot

James Patterson; Lisa Papademetriou

Middle School: My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar NEW!

Harry Bright; Jakob Anser

That's a Fact Jack!

Chip Gaines; Mark Dagostino (As told to)

Capital Gaines